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Postie Pete chathead

Postie Pete is a skull, and RuneScape's only known postman. He delivers all of the 'Postbag from the Hedge' letters to their destinations and ventures into whatever dangerous places he must to get there - although he can never be seen to do this in-game, preferring instead to pop up around Castle Wars, the Falador Party Room, Varrock Palace library, Ice Mountain, The Bandit Camp General Store in the wilderness, and the Ardougne Zoo.

He can speak over 1,000 languages, including Wyvern, and when you encounter him he usually tells a rather weak joke. Before leaving the place he has spawned, he usually says 'Well, I should be heading off', a pun on his lacking of a torso.

Postie Pete's Joke

The joke: "Two birds are sitting on a perch. One says to the other 'Smells like fish.'"

The meaning: A perch is a type of fish.

Confirmed Dialogues

Player: Hey Pete. What are you doing here?

Postie Pete: Just doing a quick survey on famous people and their favourite colour. It's a special feature for, "West Wyverns Women's Weekly".

Player: Can I get a copy?

Postie Pete: Can you speak Wyvern?

Player: No. Can you?

Postie Pete: Well, obviously.

Player: Go on then.

Postie Pete: Here! Are you mad? No, 'fraid I can't do that. Could cause all sorts of trouble.

Player: You're a bit mad really aren't you?

Postie Pete: So would you be if you could speak over 1,000 languages. I bet it's bliss being ignorant of this world's trouble! I'm off!

Confirmed Locations

Postie Pete can be found at:
Audio options icon
It's Pete! (link)
The jingle that plays when Pete appears.

Trivia

  • According to Baba Yaga, Postie Pete's Crafting level is 1, however with training can be increased to 2 and then eventually 3.